[for Peter]

[onlyforthedream]

The last time I saw Peter, the situation was charged, to say the least, and as such I'm not positive that he'll show up today. Our training sessions have been going well- he's stronger, his balance better; he's nearly as sure footed if not quite as dexterous as he was when he was powered. He learns fast and, despite his concentrated efforts to fill every possible moment he can with patter, he's focused and dedicated. I hope he shows up today.

Even if we don't get down to training, we still have matters to address. At least, that's the impression I got.

Comments

[daretodo]

It's trickier, now, finding the time to keep up with my training with school back in session. Tricky, but not impossible; I'm naturally tended towards spreading myself too thin, and there have been days since Mary Jane vanished into thin air -- with Felicia shortly on her heels, no less -- that I wonder if regularly blocking off a few hours for some mandated butt kicking isn't the only thing that keeps me sane.

That doesn't mean I'm not running late, though, or that I'm not just a little bit winded from having to hoof it across half the island to get to our agreed upon spot. I lift a hand in an absent, if vaguely apologetic sort of greeting, my mind focused more on lesson plans than Cap.

"Hey, sorry. Traffic was a real zoo."

[onlyforthedream.livejournal.com]

I look up from unwrapping a few strips of now-worn canvas from around my knuckles. I had some frustrations of my own to work out earlier, and rather than threaten the integrity of the available boxing equipment, I opted for a tree.

"Are you up for this?"

[daretodo]

"...yeeeeees?" I say, head tilting with the question. I eye his hands, suddenly not too sure I really want to put myself in the line of fire, because the only other thing around here he could've been hitting is a tree, and I'm not just not that solid.

Then again, I've lived through worse than a potentially cranky Captain America.

"Why wouldn't I be? You punch, I dodge, and I figure out what the heck it is I'm doing for biophysics next week in the process. It's time well-spent." I toss my messenger bag over to the side, and start to undo the buttons of my dress shirt; I'm coming straight from class, and I didn't have a chance to change. "Let's go."

[onlyforthedream.livejournal.com]

I wrap the fabric around itself and slip it into my pocket, nodding a little. Peter can be difficult to read, for all that he's the most vocal of the Avengers (next to, maybe, Clint). Either he genuinely doesn't care about what happened a few days prior, or he's decided to ignore it. When the knowledge of this sinks in, I have to admit that I have a problem with it, then, because there's no sense of relief or letting it go.

"Multitasking. Right." I absently fold my arms across each other, watching Peter take off his teaching role and get ready to fight.

"Peter, about the other day."

[daretodo]

"What about it?" I ask, shrugging out of my shirt, and suddenly grateful for the sleeveless tee I've got on underneath. Flashing him my scars right now strikes me as not the greatest idea, particularly when the alternate universe version of his former BFF is to blame for them.

"Should I bring a ruler next time, or?"

[onlyforthedream.livejournal.com]

"I'd really rather you didn't," I say flatly.

"And it's not about the general immature posturing that was going on. It's about you and me."

[daretodo]

"...yeah, you're really gonna need to elaborate," I say, not entirely sure what to make of what's going on. I mean, sure, I can make a few educated guesses, but I'd rather sit back and let him guide the conversation for just a bit longer than risk sticking my foot in my mouth over a dumb misunderstanding. Even so, I can feel my hackles already raising up, a tension building inside that wasn't there just a moment before; I'm defensive by nature and nurture both.

"Or, I mean, I could go." A beat. A change of plans. "I'm really good at that, actually, and you look kinda... Peeved, so maybe I'll just, uh--"

I take a step back towards my bag.

[onlyforthedream.livejournal.com]

"Peter, stop," I say, one eyebrow angling half upward.

"I want to talk to you. You're good at talking. This should be a comparatively low stress endeavor."

[daretodo]

"Ha, yeah, right," I say, incredulity written clear across my face in a big ol' sharpie. Despite my dubiousness, though, I do stop, even if I can't quite get rid of the expression. There's something to be said for full facial masks, I'm telling you.

"How 'bout you look in a mirror and try that line again."

[onlyforthedream.livejournal.com]

"Nice try, but you've faced worse," I tell him.

"You seemed bothered by something, not just the situation as it was unfolding. I wanted to know if there was something we had to discuss."

[daretodo]

"What wasn't there to be bothered about?" I ask, a little baffled. "It was a bothersome situation. All... barely restrained hostility and what have you-- And then some not so restrained hostility from your pal, Bucky Cap, if you'll recall."

I shrug, and maybe I'm trying too hard, but what else is new?

"You're really gonna quiz me on my feelings?"

[onlyforthedream.livejournal.com]

"I wouldn't make a habit of calling him that, Peter," I offer as nothing more than friendly advice.

"And I'm not quizzing you on anything. It seemed like you had something to say to me. If not, that's fine. Let's get to work."

[daretodo]

"Well, I am good at talking," I point out, parroting what he said just now. That defensive edge of mine hasn't gone anywhere; he's barely pushing, barely trying to get me to talk, but the irritation from the other day comes rushing back regardless. The problem is, I'm not looking for a fight. I've been so angry these past few months that it doesn't take a heck of a lot to set me off, but I've been trying to stay out of trouble. To keep my nose clean. Because I figure I owe it to the people who still have to put up with me to not explode every time something bothers me.

But I'm a lousy liar. And while what happened the other day wasn't exactly new, it didn't sit with me particularly well, either. I just don't know that that matters. What's done is done, and I was prepared to just leave it in the past before Cap dug it up again -- for what reason, I'm not entirely sure.

"And I'd say you're more bothered than I was. 'Cause I came here ready to work, and then you decided to go all... Dr. Phil on me. I just--"

I throw up my hands, dismissive. "You know what, never mind, I'll shut up. Silent session, just for you. My treat."

[onlyforthedream.livejournal.com]

Doubtless the expression I'm leveling speaks to how much I believe that will happen, but I just move into the wider part of the clearing and take up the stance I use when we're working on hit combinations. It may sound exceedingly juvenile, but learning how to never stop moving, how to turn one punch into another into another has saved my skin a few times, and it's not something Peter's done much of without the use of impressive acrobatics or webbing.

[daretodo]

I follow in silence. I even make it through the first combination without so much as a peep, but I can't help it. I can't help it that I can't help it, because it's like he's gone and picked at a poorly healed scab. How the hell am I supposed to focus when I'm trying not to -- metaphorically, thankfully -- bleed out all over the floor?

"Okay, fine," I say mid-punch, following it up with a second and a third. "I was bothered. Am bothered -- though the past tense was entirely applicable until you got all emotionally healthy and wanted to talk about it, I'll have you know."

[onlyforthedream.livejournal.com]

I keep up blocking, ducking and weaving back, forcing him to find creative ways to blend one strike into the next, different ways than last time. Peter is remarkably adaptable, which means I have to exhaust that skill until he realizes just how much, then becomes more so.

"That so?"

[daretodo]

"Yeah," I exhale, throwing in a kick when it strikes my fancy, though it sometimes disrupts my groove. "Yeah, that's so. Us super-types, we don't always get along. I get that. And when we're hacked off, we try to get under the other guy's skin sometimes, because we think maybe it'll make us feel better, that split-second of triumph, of rubbing someone else's face in their own mistakes.

"Which, again, fine. I made a career out of that. You wanna trade words with Tony, that's your prerogative. But don't talk about something you weren't even there for in front of the guy who nearly died, alright? I'm friends with enough jerks."

[onlyforthedream.livejournal.com]

I deflect the kick and push him back.

"Peter, if you didn't want me to talk about it, you shouldn't have given me the entire thing put down in print." I fall back into the spar, settling back into the defensive after the quick change up, without so much as pausing for breath.

"I'm glad the two of you worked out your differences. Your friendship is your business, and if you've been able to look past what he did, it must be a strong one. But that event is a matter of public record and your personal involvement doesn't change that- or the fact that it happened."

[daretodo]

"That Civil War of yours, I bet that's a matter of public record," I reply, undeterred. "You're saying it wouldn't bother you just the tiniest bit if I started bringing that up every time I had a point to make?"

It doesn't escape my attention that I'm bringing it up now, but the difference between Cap and I is that people don't tend to like me, anyway.

"Look, I gave you the entire thing in print because I had an idea about what where you were coming from, and I thought it was in everyone's best interest if you didn't just hear it through the grapevine. So, yeah, it happened. I don't forget that it happened. But don't pretend you weren't just trying to sling a little mud in the guy's eye, and didn't care who else you got dirty."

[onlyforthedream.livejournal.com]

"Do you want me to be outraged on your behalf, Peter?" I ask him.

"Because I was. For everyone who was there- I couldn't fathom how there were no consequences for anyone, it seemed, except you. But all you've done since the minute I showed up here is defend Tony Stark from my anticipated ire. Needlessly, I might add. I was never going to go after him for the sins of another man. His own actions, though," I say, frowning deeply, "his own words, those I'm going to hold him accountable for, and to date, I am not impressed."

[daretodo]

"No, I don't want you to be outraged on my behalf," I reply, cutting short a maneuver in my surprise. I end up stopping entirely, arms folding over my chest. "I don't want anything, jeez. I'm just saying that you weren't there. And it rubbed me the wrong way, you making light of it, okay? I got over it. Because it was just another dumb fight between another dumb group of guys."

Blowing air through my teeth, I add, "And this is why I don't like to discuss things. 'Cause what'd we accomplish? Oh, let's see -- well, I'm all in a huff about something I didn't even really care about to begin with, and you revealed the startling news that you don't like Tony. Wow. I feel so much better now."

[onlyforthedream.livejournal.com]

I straighten up and walk toward him, shedding the fight from my posture.

"I wasn't trying to make light of it, Peter. But I was trying, however ineffectually, to engender the slightest sense of humility in Tony Stark. I went about it the wrong way, I admit that."

[daretodo]

"Thaaat's 'cause there's no right way," I say, shaking my head a little. "You're trying to shove a square peg in a round hole. It's not going to work."

[onlyforthedream.livejournal.com]

"Then he's going to get hit," I say bluntly.

"I'm sure he could be less respectful if he tried, but I won't necessarily be on hand to stop Bucky or Thor if he goes too far. He's pushing my own patience to the limit." I shake my head a little.

"None of us expect to be friends, that's not the nature of the business, but some respect is due or someone's going to stop caring that outside of the suit, Tony's just a man, and try to take it out of his hide." I stop, my hands anchored on my hips, my jaw tense.

I don't want this to happen, but it's being set up as an inevitability. Peter can't warn Tony off this path any more than I can. He may listen to Peter, but he'll do as he pleases. At this point, I don't even know why I care.

Except maybe I feel like something would be irreparably broken that shouldn't be. Which isn't a feeling with much weight- there's really nothing to break.

"It doesn't matter," I murmur, shaking it off, all of it, loosening up the joints in the shoulder that was so egregiously injured so many months ago.

"Feel free to be in a huff. I won't bring it up around you again. Don't worry."

[daretodo]

"Pfft. I'm not worried," I reply, rolling my eyes. This is a blatant lie, of course, but only as it pertains to Tony getting his face punched in by Bucky, the All Grown Up Boy Wonder. That much, at least, I am kinda worried about.

In the same breath, I also know that it's not my job to protect Tony, even if it's my inclination. After everything him and Pepper have done for me, he's practically family, and that's not something I say about just anyone. Still, I'm not blind to the fact that he's a jerk more often than he isn't, and if there's one thing I've learned the hard way, it's that actions have consequences -- and that they should, so that the big mistakes don't get repeated, if you're smart about it.

Tony's one of the smartest people I've ever met, but I honestly don't know if he's got it in him to learn this particular lesson without taking a fall first. It took a few near-death experiences between the two of us to become friends, after all. His track record for this sort of thing just isn't the greatest.

"But I am done being the mediator."

At the end of the day, I'm nobody's keeper. While I would've preferred if my few friends here who haven't disappeared yet didn't want to kill each other, Cap's right. It's not the nature of the business.