The Truth Will Out.

[onlyforthedream]

I don't find Bucky at his place, but I find him near enough. In my brief morning sojourn to the Compound, I couldn't help but notice a kind of tension. I was planning to come by anyway, but now I have a specific question in mind, when I do. Maybe Bucky knows what's going on.

It's not the strangest thing, perhaps, that Bucky owns a horse. It certainly isn't something I would have pictured him doing back home, though, even in a world where we weren't- well. Who we were. I've ridden enough to know Virginia is a fine mare, but taking care of a horse is an entirely different matter than riding one.

"Bucky." I lift a one hand briefly in greeting as I walk up to the single wooden stall.

"How are you?"

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[onlyapassenger]

The morning's been an adventure. It figures that the day after Natalia arrives, the damn island would be up to its old tricks again; every good thing that's ever happened to Bucky's always been followed by something to cut it down, and it's no surprise to him that it's happened again. He's already told both her and Jason that he's going to lay low for the next few days, that he's not about to let himself be made a puppet, that he's not going to spout out secrets against his will, that he won't be manipulated, but he's in the middle of packing up Virginia to leave when a familiar voice stops him dead in his tracks.

Bucky Barnes is not a man who panics, too arrogant to ever truly count himself out for the count, but on the list of people he doesn't want to see right now, Steve Rogers is at the very top. The secrets he's kept from the man are as many as they are varied, and biting back a frustrated grunt, Bucky forces himself to pick up where he left off, an artless, desperate edge to his every move as he starts to finish up.

"Angry," he blurts out after a long moment's silence, despite his best efforts to say fine. Not for the first time, he's only a passenger in his own mind. "I don't want to talk to you."

[onlyforthedream.livejournal.com]

I come up short, surprise clear on my face. What's passed between Natalia and I has been charged, perhaps, but I would never let it be anything other than civil, not given when she's from and, if I'm honest, the fact that I sorely missed her company. There's nothing I can think of that would warrant Bucky's response.

"Why?"

[onlyapassenger]

It takes everything in Bucky's power to not simply put his fist into the wall. The question's open-ended, undirected, and he's not sure how much he's about to be forced to tell; he's not inclined to stick around and find out.

"Because there's some kind of %*!#ed up island thing going around today," he says through gritted teeth, trying to bite his tongue. The conflict is clear on his face. "And I pointblank refuse to add spilling my guts to you to the list of things I've been compelled to do against my will."

[onlyforthedream.livejournal.com]

An island thing. That only certain residents are compelled to tell the truth? As unlikely as anything else in this place. Even if I hadn't been prepped for this kind of thing happening, the genuine tension, the pain written into every line of Bucky's frame and face would be enough.

"I don't understand," I say after a longer moment than I mean, but follow it quickly with, "and I won't ask you to explain. I would never-" I can't say let that happen again, because as the current situation demonstrates neatly, it would be a lie.

"-do that, to you. But when this wears off, we have to talk."

[onlyapassenger]

"I'll lie."

The words are all but torn from his mouth; Bucky's shoulders go tense and his eyes go wide from the revelation, and he wastes no time in slinging the last of his gear over Virginia's back. She's no less jittery than he is, though, letting out a snort in protest, and jerking her head away, even as he tries to check the reins. At this point, he's tempted to just make a run for it with nothing except for the clothes on his back.

"Just--" he starts again. "Just go, Steve."

[onlyforthedream.livejournal.com]

"W-" I almost ask if he'll be all right, which is a dumb thing to do. Firstly because he can take care of himself, and secondly because, as much as I'd love to hear the answer, I don't want the truth from him like this. I feel my molars grind as my mouth clamps shut. I don't move, wanting too badly to stay with him to bring myself to turn and walk away easily. Hands flexing into fists, feeling reasonably conflicted myself, I just nod tersely.

"Don't stay out there too long," I settle for.

[onlyapassenger]

"This crap usually lasts a couple of days," Bucky finds himself saying, though at least that much isn't particularly incriminating, except for the fact that gives Steve an estimated time of arrival. Guiding Virginia out the stall, Bucky shuts the door behind them with more force than the action necessarily calls for. The whole structure seems to shudder; Virginia, meanwhile, is just spooked by the sound.

Bucky's attempts to calm her are haphazard at best, too distraught himself to offer much in the way of help, but his impatience gets the better of him. He mounts her despite the fact that she refuses to stay put, the challenge of it almost welcome with everything else that's gone on, and as he settles into the saddle, he looks down at Steve, grimacing.

"I'll be back."

[onlyforthedream.livejournal.com]

"I'll be here," I say, watching him go.

It won't be the first time I've watched him run rather than talk to me, but God help me, it'll be the last.