After the Bar

[onlyforthedream]

It's not the first time I've carried Bucky, although it's the first time I've had to do so because he tried to drink a bar. I'm not entirely sure what point he was trying to make, but hopefully he feels that he made it- and nothing else, come morning. He's sort of walking- he refused outright any alternative- but I have to say, the bulk of his dead weight is lightened somewhat by the fact that his right cheek is wedged up against my shoulder and the resultant facial expression is more or less priceless. I only wish I could appreciate the moment for what it looks like- war buddies dragging each other back from a bar. With everything that led up to it, though... To be honest, I don't know what I feel. I'm grateful that Bucky stayed, that he refused to be brushed off or let me go off on my own. I can appreciate the whys of it, but all the same I'll be as grateful to drop him off at Natasha's. I need to get my head clear, I need to wrap my hand where I sliced it on the broken glass, I need to hit something. Not necessarily in that order. Lifting the hand not anchored around Bucky, I rap twice on the door and then try to drag him a little upright. "You're home, soldier. Tasha, you in?"

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[widowskiss.livejournal.com]

"I will," she says, the words careful around the painful knot in her throat, but Natalia thinks, I am not the only one. James needs Steve as much as he needs her, needs to know that he's all right, and he isn't. She is sending Steve away still broken, and yet for all her talents, Natalia can't think of a thing to ease his pain.

"Don't torment yourself," she says, quiet. "You have both had quite enough of that already."

[onlyforthedream.livejournal.com]

It's an impulse, possibly a wild one, but I don't know what to say, what gesture could signify that I understand her displeasure and am grateful for her concern. I kiss her forehead, the briefest contact, putting us in a place we've never been before, but then, we're already there.

"Thank you," I reply, just as quietly, and with another brief squeeze of her arm I walk past her and out in to the night.